


Fading

by StoryWriter369



Series: Fading [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Bokuto Died, Gen, I'm an asshole, Implied/Referenced Character Death, My First AO3 Post
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 16:37:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6086929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StoryWriter369/pseuds/StoryWriter369
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Akaashi lies in bed and stares at the ceiling. He can't sleep. He doesn't want to sleep, really. Not until he knows that everything will be okay.</p><p>•</p><p>[Implied] [Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou]<br/>[I also suck at titles]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fading

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic on Ao3.  
> So typical of me to write something angsty. Sigh.  
> I'm not familiar with hospital procedures so??? I tried???

Akaashi Keiji has had trouble sleeping for the past few days. It has been four days since he is able to rest, since he  _allows_ himself to rest. He can't sleep and food tastes funny and  _he won't be okay until he knows that Bokuto is._

_And then he hears it._

* * *

**Day One;**

Akaashi remembers when he receives the call. It is around 10 at night and he is on his way home. It is cold and he remembers how he just wants to crawl into bed with Bokuto and warm up.

Halfway home, his cell phone rings and he opens it with numb fingers. He doesn't recognize the contact and answers it with a hesitant, "Hello?"

_"Is this Akaashi Keiji?"_

"Yes, has something happened?"

_"Akaashi-san, Bokuto-san is currently in surgery and you were listed as an emergency contact. Will you please come to the hospital as soon as you can?"_

Akaashi feels his heart stop as he swallows down the lump in his throat. "Where?" He manages to keep his voice steady, surprising himself.

He is given the address and hangs up right after. It is burnt into his memory as he runs.

It takes him thirty-two minutes to get there. It takes him ten minutes to sit in the waiting room. It takes him three minutes to process what is happening.

_Bokuto could die._

* * *

**Day Two;**

Akaashi has refused to go home. He is staying awake on coffee and the painful thought of Bokuto lying still, his skin cold, his eyes closed.

The image is becoming more and more realistic as Akaashi continues to think about it. 

He can't breathe.

* * *

"—aashi-san? Is there an Akaashi-san here?" 

Akaashi sits up abruptly, mentally scolding himself harshly for falling asleep. "Yes... Will Koutarou...?"

The doctor smiles gently. "The surgery has been completed, but whether or not he will wake up...we are unsure."

Akaashi's eyes widen a fraction.

_And he allows himself to cry when he realizes the doctor's smile doesn't reach his eyes._

* * *

**Day Three;**

Akaashi doesn't want to leave the hospital, but Kuroo has received the news and arrives at the hospital. He sees Akaashi's disheveled appearance, pats him on the shoulder, and tells him quietly to  _go home and sleep, I'll tell you if anything happens._

•

Akaashi lies in bed and stares at the ceiling. He can't sleep. He doesn't want to sleep, really. Not until he knows that everything will be okay.

He bites his lip until it bleeds. How is he supposed to sleep when Bokuto is...?

Akaashi buries his face into the pillow he is using. It smells like him.

The thought is distant and small, but when Akaashi closes his eyes, tears slip down his face.

_He stays like that for the rest of the day._

* * *

**Day Four;**

Akaashi doesn't have the strength to get up.

_Did he eat yet? And doesn't he have work?_

He leaves the thought alone. He isn't hungry, and Sugawara will understand.

Problem is, is he even going to return to work? Is he going to starve himself?

He shakes his head lightly. No, Kuroo would probably visit him along with Kozume and force food down his throat. They'd probably make him go to work too, at some point in time.

When was the last time he talked to someone? 

He looks at the digital clock on their bedside table. 

_**4: 59pm** _

Is it really that late?

Akaashi rolls out of bed, falling onto the floor with a small  _thud._

He stares at the ceiling aimlessly. 

His phone buzzes and he reaches out for it sluggishly.

**Kuroo Tetsurou**

**ANSWER - DISMISS**

He chooses to answer it, since Kuroo will probably knock down his door if he doesn't. 

_"Hey, Akaashi? Are you okay?"_

Akaashi opens his mouth and responds quietly, "... No, not really."

There is some shuffling on Kuroo's side of the phone, some voices.  _"Akaashi, Bokuto just woke up — "_ He cuts himself off.

(Akaashi lets himself hate Kuroo just a tiny bit when he hears the surprise in his voice, that is, until he realizes that Kuroo is  _crying_.)

"I'm coming over."

_"The doctor says that — "_

Akaashi hangs up in the middle of the sentence. He doesn't care about what the doctor has to say because  _Bokuto is fucking awake_ and that's all that's going through his mind at the moment.

_Bokuto is awake._

* * *

When Akaashi arrives at the hospital, he finds a crying Kuroo. It's strange to see Kuroo like this, since he's usually smirking and being rambunctious.

Kuroo barely looks at him, just telling him to  _go see Bokuto, he's asking for you._

Akaashi doesn't need to be told twice. He enters the room and sits down next to the bed. The sight sends pain through his chest as he tries not to choke on air.

"Koutarou?"

Slowly, Bokuto looks at Akaashi.

(Akaashi briefly thinks that the bright gold in his eyes is fading but he shoves it to the back of his mind.)

"Hey, Keiji!" Bokuto grins at him weakly.

"Hey, how are you?"

He laughs and Akaashi swears he hears something crack (and it might be his heart). "Keiji, you know I love you right?"

He nods. His mouth suddenly feels dry. "I love you too, Koutarou, and I know I don't say it often but _I really do_ and I know you know that but — " His voice cracks when Bokuto gazes at him solemnly, something unusual and  _just not like Bokuto._

"Keiji, the doctor says that I only have a few hours left."

Akaashi can't speak. He just holds Bokuto's hand in both of his and stares at his face.

(Akaashi tells himself to concentrate on Bokuto's smile but it's really difficult because the grin doesn't reach his eyes, and that makes it hard to breathe.)

They end up talking for around two hours or so before Kuroo enters the room with their former volleyball team from Fukuroudani Academy.

And Bokuto finally starts to cry as they begin to talk over each other.

(Akaashi notes that he's the only one silent as the others cry and speak about irrelevant things, but he's okay with that.)

After they leave (there's a lot of hugs, crying, picture-taking, and video recording), Akaashi sits there silently along with Kuroo, who leans against the wall.

"Koutarou, I love you," Akaashi whispers, more to himself.

Bokuto grins. "I love you too Keiji!"

(Akaashi briefly wishes that Bokuto would stop acting happy because it pains him to see Bokuto putting up a façade for them. He shouldn't have to.)

Bokuto's hands are shaking a lot and his skin is pale and cold. The shine in his eyes are dull.

When Bokuto's hand falls limp and his heart suddenly flatlines, Akaashi freezes. He can't breathe and he just sits there gripping his hand (it's so cold and so unlike Bokuto).

When Kuroo taps him on the shoulder, telling him they have to leave, he stands slowly and hovers over his body. He closes Bokuto's eyelids, hiding gold orbs, and presses his lips to his forehead softly.

They leave the room, a deathly silence following them.

(There were tear marks on Bokuto's cheeks. Akaashi hadn't noticed that he was still crying.)

* * *

Kuroo unlocks his car for both of them and they both get in. They just sit there, slouching. Kuroo rests his forehead against the wheel with his eyes closed while Akaashi leans back and stares at blurring lights.

It takes them both some time before they realize they're crying.

Kuroo exhales slowly before starting the car. He just drives. They don't speak to each other and they don't need to. They know what and how the other is feeling; there is no need for words.

(Akaashi can see Kuroo's hands trembling.)

When they arrive at Akaashi's apartment ( _it's mine now, not mine and Bokuto's,_ thinks Akaashi bitterly), Kuroo tells him to get some sleep. There's no  _goodnight_ or  _hey, it'll be okay_ , because they both know that it _won't be okay_ and that it  _won't be a good night_. 

Akaashi just nods his thanks and Kuroo drives off. He enters the building and trudges up to his apartment. He just sort of stares at the door for a minute.

(There'll never be a _welcome home_ or a hug and kiss or a  _I missed you, Keiji!_ and the fact kills him.)

He breathes in deeply and unlocks the door with a shaking hand, pushing it open lightly.

The apartment feels so  _empty_ and _it just doesn't feel like home anymore_.

He shuts the door behind him, the small  _click_ echoing throughout the apartment. He just tosses his stuff on the couch and falls into their —  _his_ — bed tiredly.

(It still smells like Bokuto, and he doesn't know if that hurts him more or lessens the pain.)

* * *

**The Next Morning;**

Akaashi wakes up late. He expects Bokuto to tease him for it, or maybe kiss and hug him _good morning_.

He expects to see the bright smile and golden eyes he is usually greeted with every single day.

But reality crashes down on him mercilessly and he crumbles inside.

_Akaashi knows it's his heart breaking as he allows himself to shed more tears._

* * *

_**Fin.** _

* * *

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Why do I like torturing Akaashi???  
> Like, I love him but???  
> (This was not proofread.)


End file.
